The Shower

I took a shower for the first time in my newly remodeled shower, it was fantastic! Let me give you the rundown on the shower saga.

About six weeks ago (two weeks after buying my house) , I decided the caulk the shower surround. As I prepared to do so, I noticed that the surround was a little loose on one of the seams. Well, as a prepared homeowner, I just happen to have a tube of Liquid Nails, so I will fix that right up. So far, this whole process should take fifteen minutes, tops.

Then comes the drama. I gently pull the surround out to apply the Liquid Nails. The wall begins to crumble and fall into the tub. It is completely rotted from, apparently, years of needing to be caulked. So, out goes the shower, and the window which is also rotted. I realize that this job is one that might be out of my scope, so I employ my friend, Jon, to help. He tells tales of working in construction many years, as a matter of fact he went to New Orleans after Katrina to work. He assures me it is no big deal, he can do it. We go to Lowe's and buy supplies. Well a couple days pass and there is a still a hole in my wall where I would prefer a window. The forecast says rain, so I would like to fix that. Jon is busy and a neighbor guy asks if I need any help, he would love a little extra money. Great! He assures me it is no big deal (see a theme) and goes to work. He finishes the window and it is totally crooked, I mean, really crooked, like the Ripley's Believe it or Not building in Orlando. I give him $20 for his time, mostly because I am too nice. So he says he'll fix it, but needs to leave for a bit and come back. I decide I will just do it myself and come to the realization that he is an idiot; two of the screws are completely destroyed and can not be removed - no sign of a + or - in which to put the screwdriver. I go to Lowe's and buy a $10 Grabit that is supposed to pull out screws. Nope. So I go to Westlake's and get a $25 set of bolt extracting bits that actually remove the screws. Unfortunately, the bits are large and won't fit in the window channel without me cutting part of the window off. But now, I can reinsert the window straight. I do so and cover the outside of the window with vinyl 1x4s in a not-very-professional manner (remember, I'm in a hurry, it's going to rain!) I ask silicon to do jobs it was never intended to do (like cover huge gaps and hold the window in when I ran out of nails), but it is holding strong.

Okay, so now, I have a window, but still no shower walls. I am leaving on vacation and give Jon a list of projects, my key, and credit card. My instructions are simple - the most important thing on the list is the shower. I really want to be able to shower in my own home. I also called the plumber to come look at a leaking toilet. He calls and lets me know it is cracked and needs to be replaced. Jon does that for me; thank you, Jon. Of course, that isn't even on the list...

I get home, rush to my bathroom to see my beautiful new shower. Nothing. Still looks exactly the way I left it. But, how can that be? He spent $80 eating and drinking on my card, which is significantly more than the $20 I approved. Of course, if I could shower, I don't mind paying $80, but alas, I can not shower. My friend, Matt, is in Costa Rica for three weeks and says I can stay at his house while he is gone. Cool, I'm sure it will just be a day or two... if Jon would return my calls... or show up at the house to finish...

Fast forward three or so weeks, Matt has returned and I still can't shower. I keep thinking, "surely he will come today, he's my friend, he won't desert me." He does show up a few times and gets some work done. So now I have all three walls in and two faucet handles, no tub spout, giant gap between the window and the shower surround - no functioning shower. I give up on Jon. I go to Lowe's spend some quality time with an employee named Jeremy who is fantastic! I get all the supplies (okay, it takes me three trips to get all the stuff, but I got everything, darn it!) I get to work.

I work on it after getting off at the Apple, till the wee hours of the morning and get it done! I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!! Amazing what you can accomplish when necessary.

I have skipped some of the details, believe it or not, but that's the highlights. I now have a completely functioning house, yesterday I even had a mattress delivered, now for a couch... hope I make bank at the Lake this week...