About Me

Friday, April 17, 2009

Friends, etc.

There is something about me that makes people want to talk to me, to tell me things that they don't tell most people. Seriously, for no apparent reason, people tell me their secrets and inner thoughts. I'm honored that they feel comfortable enough with me to do it. I suspect it is that I just ooze mom-ness. Babies are drawn to me, too. I always say that they can smell the mom on me. :-)

Examples:

  • A girl who was several years younger than me in highschool and the baby sister of someone in my class told me when I ran into her at Target one day that she was gay and had a girlfriend/wife and all about their life and how happy they were but not to mention it to anyone else because she hadn't told any family yet.
  • I have known about at least a half-dozen breakups before they happened because the person ran it by me first.
  • Many bar guests have told me things about their relationships and jobs that I have been told to keep to myself.
  • I have known about several pregnancies (of acquaintances and strangers), most of them unexpected, before anyone else.

I love being that person. I love that people can trust me with their secrets and know that I will offer good advice and not judge them harshly if they change their mind. I love that people sense that I can offer balanced, thoughtful, wise advice. It makes me feel like the job I'm doing on this little planet of ours is important even if I have no "respected" credentials. I am, though confused by it sometimes and I don't know how or why people know that about me before they really know much else about me. This was brought to mind tonight when I ran to the gas station for beer after work and had an incredibly long conversation with the attendant about DWIs and breathalyzers and how she got a DWI after a funeral and on and on and on.

I am not great (actually really bad) about maintaining long-term friendships. There are several people who have come into my life whom I would like to count as really good friends. I just let them fade away for no other reason than laziness. I'm afraid that it is because I am very good at cultivating many short-term intense friendships that I don't value highly enough the ones on which I should be focusing.

If I want to go out tonight, there are many people in my phone whom I could call and they would love to hang out. They don't call me and I don't call them, but I could if I wanted to. I don't. Maybe I should every once in a while and make an effort to be a good friend. It is so easy to just be alone, though or just to have one good friend at a time.

I think that it says good things about me that I can help aquaintances and strangers with advice without being friends. It reminds me that God is, in fact, looking out for me; I am important.

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