Christmas Evaluation

Every year I try to de-commercialize Christmas. I am up against some stiff competition in this arena, as I'm sure you are aware. Not only are the kids bombarded by television and radio ads as usual. Now they are also wooed by postal mail and email. I delete the emails, but those catalogs are devoured, circled, cut out and poured over time and time again.

Another trouble spot in my de-commercialization plan is that I am going solo. The kids even know it. They told me that their dad spoils them at Christmas and they will get piles of presents from the grandparents.

The third issue is internal. I end up putting way more focus on the gifts than I plan. I don't mean too, honest, I can't explain it! Each year I strategize ways to put Jesus at the forefront. Stories we can read, ways to increase the use of the Nativity set, events we can attend, etc. but too often I find myself Christmas shopping instead. I like to think I am a pretty strong woman, but I have been indoctrinated so thoroughly it is hard to break out. Wait a minute, that's placing the blame externally and is not my intention - I have allowed myself to hold on to the lessons I was taught growing up. I am always the weird one, I should be used to it, but I've gotta admit fitting in has its appeal. We already don't do Santa (except for the hats, but they're so cute!) which, I swear, makes some people think about calling the child abuse hotline on me. It's crazy how attached to that whole tradition people are! I hold strong to my beliefs on that issue. That being said, sometime around December 20, I decide to drink the Kool-aid and go spend a bunch of money. This year, I did way better than last year when I decided to compete with Tracy. This year I let him win, and bought sensible gifts in my last-minute remorseful shopping trip. I mean, really, are the kids going to love me less if they each only have one gift, but lots of story telling and game time, NO! They would love it, why can't I stick to the plan, I don't know, ack.

This year a friend, who adores the kids (and how could he not?) bought them gifts rather unexpectedly. He was afraid I wouldn't accept them from him, so didn't go overboard, which I really appreciated. It was nice for them to have something else to open on our Christmas morning at my house. I hate people to spend money on us, so it took me a bit to get used to the idea. The so sweet fact that he thought of them when he has no legitimate reason to was overwhelming. After they opened them , the only trouble for me was that they loved them. More than my gifts! They played with them almost the entire day! I'm teasing, of course, I adore that he knows them well enough from the stories I tell and the few interactions they have had to pick out perfect gifts. They were even hands-on and a bit educational, so he obviously knows me as well.

So, I'm sure we did not keep the Christ in Christmas as well as the average homeschool family, but darn it we did better than the average American family and that is good enough for me. I know that bar is pretty low, but the older I get, the easier I am on myself, which is only positive. Trying and failing to be perfect can make you crazy and I'm already too far down that path to add any more speed to my travels.

Overall, this year the kids were super happy with how it all went and it was only barely stressful for me and fairly easy on the checking account so I am claiming success.

Side note: Kara and I both celebrated on Christmas Eve and the kids went to their fathers' on Christmas Day. That left us alone on the actual day. We both decided independently to celebrate in a really healthy way: she had wine and I had mimosas. :-) When she called about 10:00 am, we laughed - a lot - at how pathetic it was, but what's a girl to do?

First Snow

Well, it had to happen eventually. We have had a very mild winter (thank you global warming) and I have tried to be appreciative, but apparently Mother Nature has decided we need some snow anyway. This afternoon we were blessed with fluffy, icy goodness. The kids, of course, were ecstatic, which made me feel like a louse of a mother since I spend so much time wishing against it. They managed to hit me with only four snowballs, which I count as a victory for me.

Levi took a slab of ice from the little pond out front and pretended to eat it, which I found hilarious, and also, disgusting. Paige decided to slide down the hill on her front and back alternatively, making her super happy and freeeezing! She didn't care a bit, of course.

So, that's our first snow day. We got maybe an inch of snow, but it was perfect snowball snow, so great fun. Now, if it could get up to, like 80*, I'd be super happy.

Mouseless, Dogfull

We have closed up the mouse cage for now with the death of Speedy. The kids are fine with the circle of life. We put her outside to nourish another animal and Paige thought that was a fitting way to say, "goodbye."

In other news, I decided to get a dog. I spend a good deal of time alone in the house and the house stays empty quite a lot, so thought it might not be a bad idea to have a companion. I would like a standard poodle, but am not a fan of purchasing full-bred dogs when there are so many mutts out there in need of homes. I was able to find a very mixed dog with some poodle in her. Her name is Missy Bouffant and she is 3 1/2 months old and just as sweet as can be. She came from a woman who runs an informal rescue and kept her inside, so she is used to using a doggie door and being on a leash. She is almost completely housebroken, which is really good for me since I have to work for at least 7 hours a night. I have a tie out that allows her to go through the doggie door to be inside or outside and it works pretty well, as long as she keeps from getting wrapped around the table leg or porch post. After a mere $140 trip to Petco for the free dog, we have another happy member of the family.

So that is the animal update for the Doyle household, it's always something here.

Treading Water?

Ever feel like your not getting anywhere financially? Ever feel like you work for nothing? Let me tell you about my weekend.

Saturday night I made $131, which is a bit low, but I'll take it.
The babysitter (Debi who I work with watched them) cost me $25.
Spent $20 bringing the staff doughnuts and berries when I picked up the kids (she brought them to the restaurant so I didn't have to go all the way to her house.)
$20 went to the offering plate.
$53 for the kids a new Wii game (Doug gets some credit for helping the kids convince me this morning that they needed it and that it was an active game.)
$57 ticket for expired plates (apparently the renewal went to Tracy, but I should have noticed anyway, dang it.)
That means right now, I am at $-44 for the day and still need gas.

I am thankful that I have a job that gives me a bit of financial freedom. There have been times in my life where a day like today would have destroyed me. Today it is merely a setback. I will probably make enough to pay the ticket and get new plates tomorrow and then can move on to the other bills with the rest of the week.

Mice, again

Two mice issues.
One dead, one living.

We happily housed Speedy and Aisha for quite some time and then Aisha passed to the next realm, as mice, and all things do. After a couple of weeks, we decided to replace her with a new tenant, Azul (apparently her favorite color was blue.) Speedy became very territorial and mercilessly attacked poor little Azul. We started by interrupting them each time Speedy attacked, then moved Azul to her own box for a night and tried again. More attacks ensued, so Speedy got her night in the new box and Azul got a night in the cage. Tried again and the attacks became less frequent, so we decided to just let them fight it out. Well, two days later Azul joined Aisha at the giant cheese wheel.

That same day, a short time after tossing Azul outside, I see a brown mouse, that I did not pay money for, scurrying across my kitchen floor. So now my dilemma is that I like living mice, just not outside of my cage. I don't want to kill this new addition, but I prefer her to not be in my home running free. Off to the hardware store I go to get live traps. An hour or so after placing them, I catch her. Yea! I decide to put her in Azul's box. Turns out, wild mice are WAY faster than tame mice. She jumped out of the trap the second I opened it and out of the box before I could slam the lid on. A couple hours later, I caught her again. Yea! Take two ends much the same way, I am much more careful and put the lid on as fast as humanly possible - mousely possibly is apparently quite a bit faster. So I re-set the traps and go to bed. About 6:00 am I hear rustling in the trap. This time, I have gotten a bit smarter, and put the unopened trap in the box and take it to the back porch before opening it. I manage to get the mouse out of the trap and the lid on with no mishap. I tell the kids about the cute little mouse I found and as soon as we get to the house, they go to look. They find an empty box. I don't know how, but that little mouse is quite an escape artist! The good news is that she escaped outside and I have not seen her since (I did re-set the traps just in case.)

Realizations

I have been thinking lately about how my mind works. Let me start by saying that my mind is a frightening and confusing place, much like a labyrinth built by drunken clowns. So generally, I prefer to sail on blissfully oblivious about how I manage to get through each day relatively unscathed. So why have I been thinking about it? Well, two things happened.

One, I went to the FoMM retreat (which was amazing!) and took part in Molly Remer's session on Birth Art. I have had moments of artistic capability that I am proud of, but I can not harness that creativity at will. I only create art that I would show to anyone else when I am depressed. Unfortunately/fortunately I have been quite stable for several years and have not been able to create anything worthwhile. Molly guided us in decorating a birth goddess that should have been wonderfully stimulating, particularly considering the fantastically rejuvenating environment. It was disappointing for me though as I couldn't get a feel for how my goddess should look. So I have this feeling of duality where I want to be creative, but not at the cost of my stable mental health.

The other thing was much different. I was at work and quite busy. I needed about five things from the cooler and liquor room. I knew exactly what I needed, but when Doug asked for my list, I went blank (annoying him terribly) and couldn't tell him. It bothered me a little after work when I had time to think about why. It turns out that, as far as I can tell, I think in pictures, not words. I had in my mind what supplies I needed to pick up, but hadn't bothered to put words to the pictures. This explains why when I need something, I usually hold up the empty bottle instead of asking for it by name, I subconsciously assume that everyone thinks my way. There are benefits to this style; it makes me a great editor, for instance. When I open a page of a book or website, typos jump off the page at me before I even start to read because they don't look like any picture of a word I have ever seen. Also, when I am transferring new contacts to the FoMM database I frequently type without really reading the words, my fingers just type how the words look and know if they are wrong without ever having to know what they say. This comes in handy too when playing the shower game or taking parts of IQ tests where it is necessary to memorize objects and then recall them as long as I just look at the items and don't try to put words to them.

So, what does this all mean? Not a thing really, but it is interesting sometimes to get to know myself better.

Swinging

How old is too old for swingsets? Well, apparently 32 is right on the edge. I was at work the other night and a little boy (maybe 9 years old) was doing backflips off the swings and it looked like fun. Most adults would stop there, but, oh no, not me... I thought maybe I could do it, too. So, like a fool, I tried. As I sat in the swing, I thought maybe my legs are too long to clear the top, so I started slowly without letting go of the chains. That worked twice, with relative ease. So, confidence boosted, I decided to try again, this time with gusto. Turns out, my legs are in fact too long to clear the top, I learned this with one *thud* as my feet hit the top of the swingset and another *thud* as my knees grated the sand. Lucky for me, someone was there with a camera to capture my lesson. My favorite pics are the last two where the little girl looks appropriately frightened and confused as to why I thought this was a good idea when she could clearly see a disaster was in the making.